What. A. Show! I mean, this show had it all. Drama. Suspense. A little prick that everyone may want to hang by his testicles? Yup that too. But more on that later. For now, let’s get into the action!
Victorious BRG and The Big Boys def. Love, Doug and The Little Giants
I’d be remiss if I didn’t welcome back Shane Daly to NCW! Great to see The Shane Event do what he does best. No it’s not trying to describe what a walking taco is.
The action begins with Love, Doug and Chaz Cashew. Cashew, who claims to be over 7 feet tall and 300 lbs, challenges Doug to bodyslam him. After a couple of failed attempts from Doug, Cashew thinks he has the advantage, until Doug hooks a go-behind and poses for the Prom. Doug and the Giants show off some great tag team work as they work over BRG and Cashew with dropkicks and sentons from Robbie and Bullet. Doug with another failed attempt at a bodyslam on Cashew. Robbie The Giant continues to have the advantage until Ricky Smokes distracts the referee, allowing Cashew to get in a cheap shot on Robbie, turning the tides.
Robbie, who comes ever so close to tagging one of his partners, feels the effects of several reverse chin locks from BRG. After a big spear from The Giant causing separation, he finally gets the tag to Love, Doug. BRG able to get the tag to Cashew and he immediately eats a pump kick from Doug! Smokes comes in and is met with a big knee from Doug. Cashew goes for a bodyslam, but Doug floats over and hits one of his own, turning it into a Michinoku Driver! In come the Little Giants who hoist Cashew and Smokes up on their shoulders for Love, Doug to hit a Double Doomsday Device from the top rope!
Chaz and Ricky recover and they are able to take out the Little Giants to the outside, leaving Doug to eat a double Chokeslam. A tag to BRG and he has easy pickins’ with Love, Doug hitting the Superkick for the 3 count!
After the match, Gosselin looks right into the camera, points up to the NCW Title hanging from the rafters and states he will do whatever it takes to take that belt home with him tonight! Can someone tell him he ISN’T in the ladder match??
Big Juicy def. Little Mean Kathleen
In a battle of women who were eliminated from the Women’s title tournament, both Big Juicy and Little Mean Kathleen go at it, trying to fight for position to be in line for a potential title shot in the future. LMK tries to do the right thing, and keep Big Juicy on the mat with a rear chinlock where she can not use her strength advantage, but Juicy seems to be just too powerful for Kathleen. She fights her way out of the hold and plants LMK with a beautiful Samoan Drop. After grabbing a sip of the Juice in the corner, Big Juicy finishes off LMK with the Juicy Bomb, to pick up the all important victory!
We see Becca addressing the Scrunchie Squad in the back, demanding they come up with a plan to win the tournament and make Becca the first ever Women’s Champion. A new member (?) of the Scrunchie Squad presents Becca with a scrunchie and a set of brass knuckles.
Mike Montero def Ike to retain the NCW New England Championship
The Ace enters this match, thinking that Ike is a pushover. Well he was in for a rude awakening in this one. Both men exchange side headlocks in the early going. Ike gains the advantage with a swift armdrag, bodyslam (JC Marxxx says it looked like Hogan/Andre at Mania 3) and a corkscrew single leg dropkick (That JC also compared to Hogan/Andre…not sure about that one) that sent the champ to the outside.
Montero regains the edge as he hits a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker on the challenger. The Ace connects with 3 right hands that would knock out any normal man, but can only keep Ike down for a 2 count. Ike battles back, hitting a back heel trip and double knees to Montero in the corner, but the Ace stops the momentum quickly with a facewash kick to Ike while he was down
Montero goes to the top, looking to end it with the double stomp, but Ike rolls out of the way, regaining momentum with a twisting fisherman’s suplex for a 2-count! Montero hits a roundhouse kick but immediately runs into a Michinoku Driver from Ike, and BARELY gets the shoulder up. Ike goes to the top rope and Montero shoves the referee into the ropes knocking Ike off balance to the outside. Montero hits a draping DDT and the double stomp from the top to put away the challenger!
Becca (w/The Scrunchie Squad) Def Davienne in the Semifinals of the NCW Women’s Championship Tournament
Becca looks to get things started early as she attempts a spin wheel kick, but Not America’s Sweetheart has other plans and levels her with a huge clothesline! Becca is able to turn the tides, though, as she hits a Backstabber onto Davienne. The leader (depending on who you ask) of the Scrunchie Squad then hits a dropkick on the small of the back, while her opponent is draped over the middle rope, followed by a split legged leg drop for a 2. A big clothesline and a pair of cartwheel double knees to Davienne for another 2 count.
A huge Bulldog out of the corner by Becca earns her another 2 count. Becca hits 2 running back elbows into the corner, but when she goes for the 3rd, Davienne catches her and hits an incredible release German suplex, followed by two more! As Davienne sets up for the finish, but the newcomer to the Squad, referred to as Paris Van Dale’s proxy, drags Becca out of the ring to avoid the contact. Davienne, sensing she has this match won, goes to the outside after her. They both slide back into the ring and Becca flat out shoves the referee into Davienne! (How is that not a DQ?) This allows Becca and Proxy Van Dale to double team Davienne. However it backfires as Davienne hits a double chokeslam!
Becca finally is able to connect with the spinning kick and is able to hook in the Basic Crab. Davienne is able to get to the bottom rope, but in doing so, is leveled by PVD 2.0 with that brass knuckles loaded scrunchie we saw earlier and it allows Becca to once again hook in the Crab. Referee Nic Knox has no choice but to call for the bell after Davienne can’t respond to him. Becca moves on to the Finals, that will take place later tonight!
Isana def Angel Sinclair (w/Savannah Lords) in the Semifinals of the NCW Women’s Championship Tournament
So in this 8 woman single elimination tournament, we have had 8 women and 1 man compete. Figure out that math, while I tell you that, yes, Angel Sinclair is taking on Isana in the Semis even though it was Savannah Lords that picked up the victory in the first round against Sarah Teller.
Sinclair grabs an unfair advantage, suckering in Isana with a fake handshake and sends Isana to the corner, followed by an drawn out Stinkface, which draws the ire of the Suplex Sweetheart. Isana rams Angel into the opposite corner, and returns the Stinkface favor.
Infuriated that she was embarrassed, Sinclair rises from the corner and attempts a vertical suplex. Did someone say “suplex”? Isana did, saying that’s her move and hits a textbook snap vertical suplex on the FAFO member, sending her to the outside to regroup. Angel returns and hits a spear. After a DX crotch chop, Isana takes the legs out from Sinclair and backs her into a corner hitting her with what can only be described as a “bitch slap”.
Sinclair once again rolls to the outside and tries to convince Lords to take her place in the match! After Savannah says absolutely not, Sinclair rolls back in to avoid the countout. Then she takes her eyes off the ball, jawing away with a fan at ringside, which gives Isana the opportunity to roll up the FAFO member for the 3 count!
The stage is set. It will be Isana vs Becca to crown the first ever Women’s Champion in NCW
Tim Kilgore vs Billy Wennkar
Did not happen…again…for the 5th time…this time because Kilgore didn’t have his mascara!!! Billy, if you’re reading this, please please please kick Kilgore’s ass when you finally do meet
Zachary Pierre Beaulieu (w/Dallas McCarthy) def Dylan Nix
Dallas McCarthy is calling out Alexander Lee? Dally has a deathwish! However that beating will have to wait as Lee isn’t in the building this evening. However, one of his students is. Dylan Nix steps up and we have a bonus match! Match is a loose term here as this turns into a brawl quickly! Action spills out of the ring as ZPB rams Nix’s knee into the post, taking a clear advantage.
ZPB tries to take some liberties with the newcomer and is met with a belly to belly throw across the ring! This served as a wake up call to Beaulieu as he rose to his feet hitting the most vicious clothesline you’ve ever seen for the 3 count!
Foxy Calvin Campbell (w/Doc Ozone) def Armani Kayos (w/The Scrunchie Squad)
Armani takes advantage in this one quickly as at one point in the match he removes his wrestling trunks (he had another pair on, folks. NCW is still rated PG) and whips Foxy in the back with them! He then hits a face plant and a split legged leg drop, both for 2 counts. Action heats up on the outside as Becca and Doc Ozone get into it verbally as well. Armani goes for a Bronco Buster in the corner, but Foxy moves out of the way and it is the most uncomfortable of landings for Armani!
Campbell starts laying in the sharp elbows he is known for, including a running one into the corner, followed by a dropkick. He sets up for a Flatliner, but Kayos counters into a Torture Rack Drop! Foxy is able to kick out at 2 and 15/16, much to the shock of Kayos. Armani sets up another maneuver that Foxy counters out of with a Lightning Spiral! Foxy sets up for the the Last Kiss, but Becca and “Proxy” jump up to the apron causing the distraction. Doc Ozone interjects as Foxy turns around and avoids a spinning leg kick to hit The Kiss that Don’t Miss for the 3 count!
Waves and Curls def Ricky Mederios and Pimp Daddy Apple Cinnamon to retain the NCW Tag Team Championship
The once again unlikely duo of Mederios and, this time, Pimp Daddy Apple Cinnamon look to recapture the gold for Detox, but let’s face it. Waves and Curls is the hottest team in the damn country right now, and it’s a helluva fight!
Detox Express gets out to an early advantage in spite of the lack of chemistry between them. In fact when PDAC tries to let bygones be bygones, Mederios refuses to use tandem offense against the champions, simply because PDAC isn’t Jason Devine. Ricky is able to hit a beautiful German Suplex with a bridge on Jaylyn for a 2 count. Pimp Daddy reluctantly comes back in and sets up for a double team in the corner. However it backfires and PDAC is kicked square in the head by his own partner!
Traevon now tagged in and goes to work on both members of Detox Express, hitting a gorgeous bulldog/leg lariat combination! After a save from Mederios on a 2 count, he and PDAC hit a version of a Hi-Low on Traevon for a 2 count as well. After some pushing and shoving between Mederios and PDAC, Pimp Daddy tosses his partner out of the ring, only to turn into the double team of Waves and Curls for the 1.2.3!
So Ricky Mederios lost the Tag Team titles, and the rematch for Detox, and wasn’t involved in either fall. Wow.
Becca (w/Proxy Van Dale) def Isana to become the First Ever NCW Women’s Champion
As we prepare for this match, we see Derek Simonetti and JC Marxxx be interrupted by Little Mean Kathleen, who steals JC’s headset and says she is the most qualified to call the match. She even steals his beer!
Becca tries to open up at the sound of the bell with a superkick, but Isana blocks it and they tie up. They remain locked up as they roll to the outside, and then the haymakers get thrown around! Isana gains the advantage when she whips Becca head first into the post. A back suplex onto the apron and a two count for Isana.
Tides turn in this one as the one called “Proxy” Van Dale gets on the apron, allowing Becca to hit a Backstabber on her distrated opponent. A series of running elbows in the corner, followed by a bulldog for a 2-count. Isana attempted to swing the momentum with a vertical suplex, but her back gave out on her and Becca delivered a swift kick to the small of the back for good measure. Becca then hits the dropkick to the lower back while Isana is draped over the 2nd rope, and then the split legged leg drop for another 2 count.
Once again Isana tries to fight out of it, by laying in some serious forearm shivers, but Becca counters with the damnedest boot to the face you’ll ever see, but only gets a two count! Becca, feeling victory, goes for it with a springboard legdrop from the second rope, but Isana rolls out of the way and Becca catches nothing but canvas. Isana hits a big splash in the corner, followed by a beautiful swinging neckbreaker. She goes for the cover, but the “nameless tracksuit” ,as Derek Simonetti refers to her, jumps onto the apron to cause the distraction, not allowing Isana to pick up the victory!
Isana disposes of said tracksuit and hits a brutal DDT, but only gets 2! The two combatants throw heavy shots at each other until Isana hits the T-Bone suplex. She gets a two count because “Proxy” reached in and put Becca’s foot on the bottom rope. Isana once again distracted by the woman on the outside, this time gets shoved into her waiting loaded scrunchie fist! Becca follows with a superkick and gets the 3 count! Becca is your first ever NCW Women’s Champion!
Little Mean Kathleen enters the ring and states that she is going to plan the celebration party for Becca…then leaves with the leather bag containing the NCW Women’s title. Becca, looking confused, says that everyone is invited to the party.
Team LumberJake (LumberJake, RIOT Kellan Thomas, Insane Dick Lane & Blaze Bazuco w/ Steve “The Turtle” Weiner”) def The Heavy Hoods (Davey Cash, Shay Cash, Frank Champion, & Kevin Castro) in a Total Elimination Match
This match has so many combustible elements, there’s not enough words to describe them. LumberJake and Castro have been going back and forth for the better part of 2 years. Castro has Dick Lane in his pocket. Davey Cash doesn’t trust Castro. Frank Champion returns to the ring. It’s a madhouse in this Total Elimination match!
The action starts with Dick Lane and Shay Cash. Dick grabs an arm and goes to work with an arm ringer. Team LumberJake all get in on the action as they all tag in and out, ringing the arm in the process. Even the referee gets involved. Oops. I’m sure NCW HR may have words with Mr Knox after this event.
Shay Cash is able to gain the advantage and tags in Frank Champion. Vintage Heavy Hitters as Shay hits Dick with a splash and then throws him into a real stiff clothesline from Champion! The Heavy Hitters continue to work over Dick as they tag in and out. They go for the same move as before, but after the splash, Dick reverses the whip and Champion smashes his partner with a clothesline! Champion gets low bridged out of the ring. Dick hits the Snap Mare Driver and eliminates Shay Cash.
Shay Cash Eliminated
Dick avoids contact when Frank Champion enters the ring, and makes the tag to LumberJake! The two biggest men in the match stalemate in several lock ups before Champion whips Jake into the ropes, allowing RIOT Kellan Thomas to make a blind tag, who makes the tag to Dick Lane, Kellan hits a Shining Wizard followed by the Anti Life Equation from Lane. Dick makes the tag to LumberJake, who makes the tag to Blaze Bazuco, who is then pressed over Jake’s head and dropped onto Champion for the 3 count!
Frank Champion Eliminated
Davey Cash enters the ring, and within seconds, smacks the referee right in the face, getting himself disqualified!
Davey Cash Eliminated
Well lookie what we have here. Kevin Castro is all alone in a 4 on 1 situation. RIOT tags in Jake and the three teammates drop to the floor to make sure Castro can’t escape. FINALLY after over 2 years of torment and embarrassment, Jake has Castro all to himself. Jake looks to have second thoughts, when Castro jumps on Jake’s back. Jake rams Castro into the corner, followed by an avalanche in the corner. A chokeslam that took Castro out of his shoes followed by a 3 count for the win!
Kevin Castro Eliminated (Thank God!)
The Ladder Match for the NCW Heavyweight Championship ends in a No Contest
How does that happen you ask? Remember the little prick I mentioned at the top of this column?
The match begins when Channing Thomas and Vern Vicallo meet in the middle of the ring looking up at the NCW title. Then the brawl begins! Fists are flying until Channing tosses Vicallo to the outside. Thomas out after him and the fight continues. Thomas rams Vicallo into the apron, then attempts to take him into the ladder, but the champ blocks it and then rams him into the announce table! Thomas blocks an attempt to be taken to the ladder and is able to move Vern back into the ring. Channing looks to introduce the ladder into the match, but Vicallo hits a baseball slide into the ladder, introducing it to Thomas!
Vicallo makes the first attempt at retrieving the title as he starts to climb the ladder before Channing re enters and peels Vicallo off the ladder, then throws him head first into it. Thomas takes the opportunity to grab the leg of the champion and go to work on it. You can’t climb a ladder if you’ve got a busted wheel. Thomas follows up with a bodyslam on the ladder! This is followed by a relentless attack on the leg of Vicallo with the ladder, including a devestating knee drop onto the steel and fiberglass of the ladder!
Thomas looks to hit Vern with a cross body, but the champ low bridges the challenger, causing Thomas to take a hellacious fall to the outside. Vicallo tries to take advantage and climb the ladder, but the damage to his knee hinders him from climbing, giving Thomas the opportunity to get back into the match and attempt a powerbomb off the ladder. However Vicallo counters it with a Hurricanrana on the challenger!
Vicallo goes up the rungs once again, and once again Thomas thwarts the opportunity, this time using a second ladder to ram into Vicallo’s knee. Thomas with the advantage once again wrapping the bad leg around the post several times. Thomas sets up the ladder, draping it over the middle rope in the corner. He charges at Vicallo, but misses taking the ladder to the gut and the post to the shoulder!
Vicallo locks in a Boston Crab on the ladder, forcing the challenger to tap out. Of course that doesn’t matter here, as Vicallo releases the hold. Vicallo attempts to whip Thomas into the ladder, but it’s reversed and VIcallo tastes the steel. Thomas climbs the ladder, reaching for the gold, when Vicallo yanks the leg of the challenger hitting him with a cutter on the way down! Vern continues to use the ladder as a weapon hitting a bulldog on Thomas from the corner.
Vern looks to have things won when Ricky Smokes comes from the locker room to snatch Vicallo off the ladder. This opens up an opportunity for Thomas to grab the second ladder and climb it to the title, but out comes Chaz Cashew to pull off Thomas. Both Smokes and Cashew are taken out momentarily as Vicallo and Thomas ascend dueling ladders. Enter: the little prick!
Brett Ryan Gosselin comes in and with the help of Smokes and Cashew, tip both men off their respective ladders, taking them both out. The referee enters the ring, and BRG lays him out as well. With Cashew and Smokes holding up the ladder, BRG climbs the ladder, and takes down the NCW Title and acts like he won this match! He leaves both combatants laying in a heap in the ring, and leaves the ring with the title! What the hell Brett??
DId you hang around after the credits? If you didn’t you need to go back. TIm Kilgore was finally ready to wrestle! Of course, everyone had gone home at that point. Thanks for coming Tim.